#i just needed to get all my life experiences somewhere since i can't talk to my gf (me problem expressing myself feels painful these days)

[hel-phoenyx]

OK so since right know I'm under a lot of questions about my identity and that doesn't help the jealousy problem bugging me right know I'm going to put in thoughts how exactly I live my aromanticism and see if it will help

I discovered the LGBTQ community at 17 on Wattpad. Bad start, I know, but at this point there was on this site a very useful account talking about LGBTQ problems, sharing stories and testimonies, and this is where it's important, identities. So I discovered aromanticism at the same time I discovered homosexuality, pansexuality, bisexuality, and other more niche terms.

The term was bugging me in a good sense, but it also felt like a death sentence. I am a very romantic person, I wanted my significant other, and at the time I loved romance and still was in my twilight phase, to give you an idea. So I went through... Quite a lot of terms. Both niche and less. I was the sapio kid, then pan, then bi, and started accepting I was ace.

I came to terms with my aromanticism later, while I was in a very complicated phase of my life (beginning of college, hard af major since I was trying out medical studies) and discovered with my then friends that we had very different conceptions of romance. Accepting I was aromantic was a milestone in my journey, in the sense that it was no longer a death sentence. I came to terms with the fact that I would most likely be the celibate friend of the group, and while at the time I pretended pre-med killed it in me, deep down I think I knew that was not new.

Exploring the term allowed me to look on a new angle on many experiences of my live. I discovered the compulsory heterosexuality I was bringing with me since elementary school and allowed myself to express attractions in the way I felt it rather than in an allonormativity carcan. That felt good. But I was still a bit downed by all my friends being into a relationship or living crushes and feeling like I'll always be the second choice. Because duh. Why would they put a friend before a significant other ? As much as I would like to, life doesn't work that way.

And then I came across the "queerplatonic relationship" term and I was overjoyed. There was a way to explore connexions without having to feel the Big Romance(tm), to live what I always wanted to live, how I wanted too.

Queerplatonic relationships and the one I share with my partners currently is the outlet where I allow myself to live little Hel's dream of romance and connexions while grown-up Hel isn't hiding about the fact that I am not in love with them. The affection, the conenxion, the love I feel for them is genuine, but the gestures, the hand-holding, the kisses, many romance-specific things that I do are not. It is not like I am forcing myself tho. I do this because I want to. It just doesn't come naturally.

I am now 22 going on 23, using three labels : bi (not bisexual), aroace and polyA, and it took a lot of time for me to be adjusted to my current dating life. I have amazing partners I wanna share my life with, I am proud about my aromanticism, defines my attraction how I want to because those words helped me grow as a person. But I feel like I have still room for improvement, and this is both in a way I do not want to and a way i feel necessary for my wellbeing.

There are still many problems. I'm afraid I'll end up performing too much and losing that connexion with my partners because I want to keep them. This is already impacting my relationship with my girlfriend, who is with several other people including one who needs a lot of attention and that she sees often (all of us are long distance). You guessed it : I'm jealous as fuck and feel both left out and that this jealousy has no place to be here, because I'm the one who doesn't do any "effort". There is also the fact that more and more of my experimentations become perfomance. The fact that I feel more and more like a fraud because I'm an aromantic in a relationship and I perform more and more when I can, so that word who saved me is slowly losing meaning in a bad way. I didn't even react when yesterday in a vc my friend called my other friend "the only real aro here" without thinking and realizing that. hurts. The fact that I'm trying to be like my metamour so I can get attention but this is not me, I am too distant for this and it's just not helping.

Welp this became a vent post quickly o_o"

The conclusion that I'd like to bring here is both for aros and allos. That I want a world where my way of exploring connexions is celebrated as as much important as romantic relationships and where I won't feel the need to perform anymore. That people stop calling us all loveless or frauds or whatever just because we don't feel like you. Where I can experiment in peace without being judged or feeeling that know that I've done this, I'll need to do it again to validate my relationship. Where we can have dirty minds, romantic personalities, enjoy sex and romance, be in a relationship of our making and still be able to call ourselves aces and aros.

Where we can just live our lives without being trapped in a model or another, would it be celibacy or romance.

[kiwiikato]

mommy’s here // ken sato x reader

Chapter Three

masterlist

your eyes stayed focus on how the lights flashed. you knew he was undergoing stress, risking himself to change back to his human form due to professor sato teaching you. you cleared your throat, causing ultraman and the robot known as mina to face you.

"uhm- so i know i'm a complete stranger but i want to clarify that i mean no harm to you, as a hero and to your personal life. i'm willing to offer my assistance to help with the baby kaiju as well since i am technically apart of this mess." you said internally twiddling your thumbs at the stress.

you took a deep breath to keep yourself calm, not wanting to change back to human without your personal desire. "how could you even help?" he asked staring you down.

you went to speak up, before the baby kaiju reached out to you. you pulled them into your grasp, cradling them into your hands. "i can take care of it. i have more experience with taking care of babies when i would help others, and this shouldn't be that different or hard to figure out." you said, rubbing its back as it cooed at you.

before ken could respond, he was cut off by the mina talking. "it is true. it appears to have imprinted onto the both of you. you will both have to play the role of parents to nurture her."

he froze in shock at what she had just said. "no no no, are you saying that?" "yes, she thinks that you're both her mother and father." the baby kaiju reached out to him, trying to get into his hold at the same time, to which he took her into his hands.

"ah! no! i am not built for this! ive got a life. a title to win! you do something nice and now i'm babysitting a giant pink lizard thing!" he froze, almost like he was thinking of an idea. and he was. "we've gotta get it out of here." he said quietly. you chucked at him.

"what?? what's so funny to you?" he asked internally panicking. "i'm laughing cause you brought her here and don't want to admit responsibility. besides, your not doing this alone. i'm free to take care of her for you." you said taking the baby kaiju into your arms.

"but i don't even know you? you don't even know me! we can't have her here, we need to take her somewhere else!" his voice rose with concern as he stared at the baby kaiju that you cuddled into your body.

"and where would you suggest we take her?" mina asked as you raised your eyebrow at him, urging him to continue. he strained himself for an idea, causing him to flash red and blue all over again. "oh! we'll take her to kaiju island." he said proud of the idea.

"unfortunately, no one knows where kaiju island is. neither your parents or the KDF were ever able to locate the island." mina spoke. ultramans light began to flash faster as a whirring sound sounded from him. he quickly looked at you. the worry on his face clear as day at the idea of someone knowing his secret identity only adding onto his stress.

"it would be very bad if you were to change right now." mina spoke up. a light flashed in the room as where ultraman sat was now gone. you moved with haste, gently placing the kaiju on the floor.

knowing that his identity would now be revealed, even though you already knew it, you quickly changed back into your human form. the best way to have him trust you was to trust him yourself with who you are.

landing softly on the floor, you stretched your limbs to release some tension. you moved to stare at his now limp body that twitched from the impact of his fall.

you snickered a laugh as you crouched down to his level. "hey, you better get up. i don't think it's time for you to die yet. ain't that right, ken sato?" his body froze at his real name being said, making him look up at you quickly with fear on his face.

ken stood up, he stammered for words to say. any thing he would've say was cut off at the sound of footsteps. loud footsteps. the baby kaiju, now bigger than the both of you, stood staring at you with curiosity.

he nervously chuckled at her. "hi." ken waved at her softly with a sideways smile. you both froze in fear of her reaction. and with good reason. her adorable beady eyes watered up as she released a cry. the baby kaiju cried as a sonic beam hit a wall with cars hanging from it. the car fell to the ground with a crash as they broke.

you both jumped out of the way screaming for your lives. kenji stood up holding his face in fear at his cars being ruined. "what the heck is that!?" he yelled. "she's scared of the both of you." mina responded as you both ran with the baby kaiju chasing after you. "scared of us?! she's twenty feet tall!" you yelled as you ran for your life, scared of being hurt, as ken nodded his head quickly.

"she doesn't know you both! she only knows ultraman and the ultragirl!" you both ran faster as the baby kaiju got closer, shoot more sonic beams as you ducked your heads. "mina! containment unit!" kenji commanded. "which one?"

"the biggest one!!" you both yelled at the same time as you felt your feet become heavier from the running. suddenly silence filled the room as you both slowed down. you turned around to see a hole in the floor. something rose from the ground, showing the baby kaiju in a glass containment unit, her eyes watery from fear.

her cute clawed hands tapped at the glass as she whined. you couldn't help but frown at her sad expression. "oh poor baby." you softly said to yourself. you turned to see ken crouching down, his hands on his knees as he slowly caught his breath.

"ken, there really is only one person who could help." mina suggested. "no no no, you did not just suggest—" his yelling was cut off by mina. "sorry ken, i already called." you giggled at mina's actions, finding it funny how she didn't care what ken had to say.

a screen popped up in front of you both, your eyes landing on professor sato who had his face too close to the camera. "kenji? it's your father! are you there? hello?" you frowned seeing his desperation to talk to him.

professor sato had told you about their strained relationship, but even then, you could see he missed him by the way he watched his games and cheered for him, even if his own son hated him for their past.

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

you slowly traced behind kenji as he headed towards the door. you stayed silent, noticing his discomfort in you even being here and now knowing who he was. you were still a total stranger to him, he didn't even know your name. the total haste of the situation prevented you from introducing yourself.

he opened the door, your eyes noticing how it rained outside. you couldn't see professor sato since kenji blocked the view with his bodybut you knew he was there from hearing his voice.

"kenji!" his voice was hushed but filled with worry. "dad! hey hey, what's up? how about that game tonight?" kenji responded quickly, his voice was high but filled with fake pleasantries. "oh thank god. you're okay?"

"yeah you know, i'm uh good. it was a tough battle. i'm a little sore. still recovering but—" kenji stopped talking when a screech came from downstairs. "what was that?" kenji froze and jumbled his words trying to come up with an excuse. "uh y'know it's a—" you snickered at his attempts and decided to help him out.

"it was me! i accidentally hit a chair and it scratched the floor badly." you pushed kenji out of the way, cracking the door open more for professor sato to see you. his face morphed into one of relief.

"y/n! i was worried about you since i hadn't heard anything from you after the crash. are you okay?" you gave him a soft smile. "i'm okay professor. kenji here was taking care of me so don't worry." you said hitting his arm playfully.

kenji froze at the interaction between you and his dad. 'how did you know each other? did he teach you? why was his father closer with you then him? why?' he shook his thoughts away, adding onto your words to make your story believable. "yeah, we were having a party." the yellow lights behind the both of you changed to colorful flashing lights as he bobbed his side to side to the music that played.

you internally smacked your head knowing how professor sato would react. you knew how he felt about the kaijus, how he held some type of respect for the creatures that terrorized japan and the power that they carried.

"the most magnificent creature on earth has died. the last of it's kind. and you both are throwing a party!?" his voice rose with disappointment as he stared at the both of you. you never felt any anger from professor sato ever directed at you before so to see him accuse you as well, it hurt. it dearly hurt.

but kenji took it worse. his eyes sharpened at he stared, for a moment he could only see rage at the insensitivity of his father for his well-being, especially after being caught in an explosion while battling gigantron.

"that magnificent creature nearly took my head off, dad. both of ours," he pointed a finger at you, "i haven't seen you in twenty years. you chose this city and literal monsters over us!" ken's voice rose with anger as he walked up to his dad making him only move backwards with him. "no-" a broken sound left professor sato's mouth.

"then you get hurt, can't hack it anymore, and i get to come back and clean up the mess you made as ♪ da, da, da, daa ♪ ultraman! which i only did because mom begged me to! and you're more worried about the monster. and not only that, but i come back to find that you've been playing dad for someone else."

kenji's head snaps towards you with an angry look. you could only stay silent at the scene before you. you knew it wasn't your place to speak. you so badly wanted to say something. but you only knew so much and saying something would make it worse. you could only look down as kenji snarled and looked back at his dad.

"classic." professor sato stared back at him, his eyes watery, as his eyebrows furrowed in pain. "no- i only wanted to... protect you." "but you didn't. you didn't even pay attention." his voice broke at the confrontation as his dads features went down from hurt.

kenji turned around and looked at you. "go inside. we still need to talk and i'm going to need some answers." his voice was stern. you nodded your head and went inside. you knew you owed him an explanation. how could he not want one when he just found out a total stranger was being taught by his own dad.

you turned around and went inside, walking past the kitchen and living room to the metal door that led to the underwater lair. you eyes landed on the baby kaiju that sat in the containment unit, where mina hovered around her.

"hello. is ken still outside?" mina asked you. "he is. he told me to come inside, saying that he still wanted to talk." you responded back to her. "very well, follow me."

mina began to float away, to which you began to follow after her. you both ended up in a small room that had a giant tv and a couch in front of it. "take a seat. i will let you know when ken is back to talk." you nodded your head as she flew away, not before turning the tv on to a random show to keep you busy with.

it wasn't long before you heard footsteps walking towards the direction of the room you were left in. you looked up the see the owner of the footsteps. ken stared at you from the doorway of the room. "okay. let's talk."

-

taglist: @ilovemyhusbandaaravos

[k0ff1n]

Skully headcanons (both general and relationship stuff)

The parts with the reader are gender neutral, also there is a point that could be considered nsfw I think but it's really just general stuff so nothing much really.

-English isn't my first language so sorry if there are errors and other stuff that simply ain't right and I hope you enjoy :)

+So first of all we know that he isn't from the world that hosts Halloween town, meaning he doesn't dress like that... probably. Personality wise I'd say that he only has energy when he is 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 excited about something, usually a topic that he really likes, but other than that he'd probably be kind of laid back. Like the Kaworu Nagisa type of laid back, he talks and stuff, nods and smiles but doesn't really express emotions in a really... 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺 (this phrase makes sense in my head please bare with me).

+Now I fully believe that he probably dresses in two ways, no in between. We can have the fancy version of him, probably on those days where he feels motivated enough to wear something nice, and those are the only times where he wears some type of goth outfit, then we have the 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭 version of him, the one where he's probably wearing a random cardigan with the most hideous Halloween design anyone's ever seen in their entire live. You know those 90s cardigans, the hand knitted ones with the different patterns randomly sprinkled on the base, yeah, those beauties.

+Now let's be sincere, he's probably autistic. He seems to not really understand "standard" social cues, like when he kisses everyone's hand and they are basically disgusted, also when in Halloween town he hugs grim and Epel(?) just because of how excited he is and they are 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 dying inside but he doesn't even seem to notice lol. Now the most noticeable part is also the one where he only talks about Jack and the related festivity, it literally feels like a special interest, the kind that sticks with you for all your life and you can't really get out of your sistem. Also we know that no one really likes him or talks to him in his real world, which is unfortunately the reality of many neurodivergent people, often considered weird or annoying by others. I mean all the neurodivergent people I've met always had similar experiences, me included so yeah, I mean he also basically states that so.

+With this said I imagine him to be the type of person that tries to keep his interests to himself but fails horribly every time someone gets close enough and he thinks he can finally open himself up. Now we all know how that would end (not in a nice way) , meaning that he probably hides himself in the realities from different books and movies he likes. I firmly believe that the reason he was so happy to finally be in Halloween town was because he imagined so many times to live there without the trouble of other negative people that he felt as if he actually belonged somewhere for once.

+Now since this is getting depressing I'd say that if he had a partner he would probably need someone that either shares the same type of interests as him or simply has enough time to listen to him rant about his hyperfixations. I'd say that the first one would probably still be better because he'd feel as if someone finally understands him and gets why he likes certain things so much.

+Probably collects weird and creepy things, could be old stuff he found in a thrift shop or taxidermies he made himself or bought from some shop on Etsy lol. I see him as the type of guy to yes, love Halloween, but only a certain types of decorations, I mean the old/vintage type would be perfect but if you ever try to get him close to a basic plastic pumpkin (like the basket kind for trick or treat) he would probably start talking in an annoyed and frustrated way about how society ruined the original version of the holiday and stuff like that.

+Type of guy to listen to those long ass YouTube videos with the low quality image as thumbnail that last for more than two hours but include old songs that no one ever listened to, probably including the ones that 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦𝘥 those songs.

+If he actually had a partner he would probably be clingy af, not in an annoying way but like a cat that's always around you way. I don't think that in public he would display that much affection, probably afraid of other people seeing him and judging once again, but when in private he would probably be constantly near you or touching you somehow, be it hugging you when watching a scary movie on the couch or if he's helping cooking something and suddenly you feel him speak in you ear, scaring the shit out of you because he somehow doesn't make any noise when walking.

+Has the worst eye bags you've ever seen in your life, the type that even if you put a red base and then the green and concealer or whatever they 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 fade away. They would probably only make him look good considering that be surely (to me at least so sshhh) wears at least a little eyeliner or eyeshadow. I dont think he was dry lips, even if the og image gives that impression I have a feeling that it's like those cracked type of lipsticks that you put on in layers and stuff.

+One again, if you share interests he would probably sing various tunes with you, be it the songs form the nightmare before Christmas or things like confrontation form the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde musical. I can see him dramatically move around his room while singing a certain part and then looking at you like you hung the starts in the sky when you start singing the next part, even if you suck it doesn't matter really.

+I don't think that he's asexual but at the same time I don't think he'd be really interest in sex stuff anyway, like maybe sometime but more like vanilla things, he doesn't even look like he has the energy to keep up any fancy type of performance let's be fr. Would kiss you and whatever, sometimes make out if you have the time and actually feel like doing something like that, but generally I don't think that he would care much about there things.

+Probably has a pet, not sure which one but the possibilities are: a cat, more cats, rats (named Jack and Sally obvs) or some type of ferret. Not really a dog type of person even if he likes Zero. He probably doesn't have the energy to keep up with an animal like that even if he wants to.

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

PHIA SABAN INTERVIEWED BY ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.

SO MUCH HAPPENED IN THE FINALE, AND HELAENA WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SO MUCH OF IT. WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HOW MUCH INFLUENCE HELAENA WAS GOING TO HAVE IN THIS EPISODE?

"When I read the episode, I was so excited to be involved in that trippy dream sequence."

"I was hoping that I was going to arise from a lake of goo or something, or fly."

"But I was also really happy to stand there and talk."

"That was really exciting because we did that all in a green screen stage, just me and Matt, so it was really cool."

"I watched the last episode last night, and it was really cool to see all of that come to life."

"I was very pleased to be involved in that."

"My other thought was if she feels this kind of clarity in that scene that she has with Aemond, and that isn't historically how she's felt about her power and everything."

I needed to work backwards from there and try and work out what journey she has been on, for that moment to be so clear, when usually she's a bit more like, "Oh, there's a beast somewhere."

WHAT CONVERSATIONS DID YOU HAVE WITH SHOWRUNNER RYAN CONDAL ABOUT HELAENA'S EXPANDED ROLE AND HOW SHE'S GOTTEN TO THIS POINT IN THE FINALE? BECAUSE SO MUCH OF HER JOURNEY HAS BEEN INTERNAL.

"Actually, Ryan and [writer] Sara [Hess] and the writers, they very much left it to me as to how Helaena feels, how she connects to that side of it, and how it manifests for her, but it's an interesting one."

"The line between what I know and what she knows, I try and keep quite close together, so it's not always so helpful for me to have this really overarching idea of how exactly she plays in and what magic it is."

"Because I think every time when that happens to her, it feels like the first time."

"So I know as much as she does, in a way, but they were very keen for me to interpret it however I want."

"Then I think they're just going to weave it into the story in their magical way."

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROCESS IN WORKING BACKWARDS FROM THAT CONFRONTATION WITH AEMOND. HOW DID YOU GET INTO HELAENA'S MINDSET?

"How I describe it is she has this amazingly strong intuition, and things come to her as gut feelings in flashes, but they're not always clear."

"She can't always turn them into advice."

"It's more of like a feeling that takes her over."

"That's where some of those really abstract things that she mutters earlier on comes from, but she also thinks of herself and knows of herself that she's quite a strange girl."

"There's a way in which her family lets her go and be her strangeness in her room and do all of her Helaena things."

But also she partially thinks, "Maybe if I didn't have these weird feelings or this strange intuition or this really intense experience that I have, then I could be a bit closer to people around me, or I could communicate better or it would be less strange."

"Part of her represses that stuff."

"Then I think with the trauma that happened to her in episode 1, essentially the worst possible thing happened, and there's a certain amount of dissociation and almost like a letting go of that, like trying her best to be the same as everyone else."

She has disassociated from the family reality, and maybe she has stepped in a little bit more to the other place, and she has more access because she's gone, "I can't abandon myself as well, so what is this?"

"She's given it the attention and the intensity it needed."

SINCE HELAENA BEING A DRAGON DREAMER ISN'T IN THE BOOK, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOW YOU'RE GETTING TO CHART NEW TERRITORY FOR THE CHARACTER?

"It's really fun."

"I know that people feel so passionately and lovingly towards the original story, but I think that me, as a fan of things, I love a certain level of loyalty."

"Then I love the idea that I can be surprised or something could be subverted."

"It more flatters the audience's intelligence when you get to surprise them and subvert things, so I like the idea that people didn't see that coming for Helaena."

"Obviously, I can't watch the show as an impartial person."

I WOULD BE VERY IMPRESSED IF YOU COULD.

"[Laughs] I'd be like a psychopath, yeah."

WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING THE BRAN OF THIS SHOW?

"The thing is that I really have absolutely no idea what's happening next season."

"I think that moment in episode 8 is an example of how clear and how powerful she can be, but I don't think that's the beginning of now she can just communicate like that."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she walks away from Aemond, [mimes shaking her head and shoulders and blows out a breath], and she goes inside and goes to her room and that doesn't happen again for a long time."

"So who knows, but it would be really cool if I got to spend more time in that vision dream world."

"I would love that."

"There's that moment when Daemon's going over to the tree, and then there's a guy with a deer head or something."

"I think Helaena should hang out with him."

THEY SHOULD GO OFF TOGETHER HAVE THEIR OWN SIDE ADVENTURES. NEW SPINOFF IDEA.

"Yeah, exactly."

"That's what I want for the next season."

DOES THIS REVELATION THAT HELAENA IS ACTUALLY A DRAGON DREAMER MAKE YOU RETHINK YOUR CHARACTER AT ALL?

"Yeah, I think it's fun because it's essentially development, which is what you always hope for when you play someone."

"I just really hope that there's momentum from this, that we see her change more and more and keep on being surprising."

WHAT WAS IT LIKE FILMING THAT SCENE WITH MATT WHERE HELAENA KNOCKS DAEMON DOWN A PEG AND REALLY HUMBLES HIM IN THE FINALE?

"It was fun."

We were there on the green screen going like, 'What the hell is this going to look like?'

"But it's great to do work with the people from the other team because at this point the relationships are so bad that you're really only going to get Helaena and Daemon together in a vision."

"They're probably not going to be having lunch together anytime soon."

"[Laughs] I'd love to go and hang out with Harry Collett and Bethany Antonia and Phoebe Campbell next time."

"I'd like to go and hang out with Alys Rivers [Gayle Rankin], all the people that live in different castles."

"Maybe I could meet them in dreams."

"That would be really good."

"It'd be like ... did you ever play Club Penguin?"

[LAUGHS] I HAVE!

"It could be Club Penguin."

It's like, "Meet me here at 3 p.m. by the igloo."

That'd be so fun if Helaena could just be like, "Let's go and hang out in dreams. Go and touch the tree, and I'll be there."

NO ONE HAS EVER LISTENED TO HELAENA UNTIL DAEMON REALLY TAKES HER WORDS TO HEART AND CHANGES HIS ENTIRE COURSE. DOES HELAENA FULLY APPRECIATE OR EVEN KNOW THE PART SHE'S PLAYING IN THIS WAR NOW?

"No, I don't think so."

It's all so intense for her and so immediate that I don't think she even is always like, "I have this overarching understanding of the story."

"I think it comes to her in moments."

"Maybe it muddies the water more, but I feel like that whole dream stuff is up for interpretation as well from the audience."

"How much is she a projection of his guilt, or how much did he just need to hear that from someone?"

"It's this magical realm, so anything could be possible."

"Maybe that's something that she could say in a moment, and then she's gone from there again, and it's just like she was just being channeled through."

"Who knows? Maybe we'll find out more."

I think to her it's just, 'This is my really intense experience of being alive,' and that's enough self-analysis for anyone in that moment.

It's like, "What am I going through?"

"And then there's this clarity."

"She's got a lot to process this season."

"Bless her."

WHAT WAS IT LIKE FILMING THE SCENE WHERE HELAENA STANDS UP TO AEMOND AND REVEALS SHE KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HE DID? THAT'S ONE OF THOSE RARE MOMENTS OF CLARITY FOR HER.

It's really fun to work with Ewan — yet again, I'm answering the question in an annoying way because I'm like, "I just like working with those people!"

"[Laughs] That was really cool."

"God, this is really the first time... it's the most eye-contact she's ever made in both seasons."

And she's really going like, "Don't fuck with me."

Basically, "Because I have this knowledge that's on a higher realm and I cannot and will not go and kill people for male ego and toxicity."

That's the other funny thing with this family: Yes, he's the Prince Regent or whatever, and her husband/brother is the King.

But actually to each other it's like, "You're my brother and you can push me and you can push me, but I know you."

"That is more about a sibling dynamic."

"Actually, I think that Aemond ironically is one of the people that Helaena feels she can communicate with a little bit better."

"They have this sort of affinity."

"It's just fun to play with those dynamics because she doesn't have a lot of long chats with anyone, so it's fun for me."

YEAH, THE LONGEST CHAT SHE'S HAD UNTIL NOW HAS BEEN WITH HER BUGS.

"Exactly, and they don't really answer back."

"This is very new and very overwhelming."

HELAENA DOESN'T WANT TO RIDE HER DRAGON INTO BATTLE, BUT DO YOU? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MISSING OUT ON THE BIG DRAGON BATTLES SO FAR?

"Yeah! It's House of the Dragon, and I've got a dragon, and I haven't got on it."

"I'm rusty."

"I really wanted to get on the dragon."

"I went and watched a few people on the buck this season, and I was so jealous."

"I'd really love to get on the dragon, or at least have a scene with Dreamfyre."

"Dreamfyre, like Vhagar, she's super ancient and big and cool."

"I'd like to see Helaena and Dreamfyre having a sort of spiritual connection, but I'm not complaining."

"I'm just happy to be here."

[phantomposting]

More Ghoulish Laughter Au speculations! This au has truly infested my brain. You can find the original prompt here!

TW: CANNIBALISM, STARVATION, ABUSE

---------------------------------------------------------

Thinking about it more I think Bruce would definetly deem Danny/Ghoul too big of a risk. He would also probably want Danny to pay for all the lives he had taken since Bruce's strict moral code usually isn't too lenient to those whom take the lives of others.

So I imagine Bruce has Danny put into Arkham to serve his time and hopefully get psychological help in the process so he can hopefully eventually live a normal life after what Joker had made him do. This hinges on Bruce still assuming Danny's cannibalistic tendencies are something the Joker had forced him into psychologically.

He definitely doesn't realize it's a physical issues with his ghost side and not just some well ingrained psychological manipulation. Nobody does really. Danny's the only one truly aware it's a biological problem.

Damian is absolutely pissed his father would abandon his brother like that. Sure it had been a few years since they've really talked or been around eachother but he knows his brother. He would not do such things unless forced. Danyal was always soft that's what initially got him killed in the end.

He was warm and kind and always covered for Damian. He had never been suited to be a killer his guilt was far too great. He had even let Damian take his life the day grandfather had ordered them to fight to the death. Danyal just wasn't that kind of guy and he certainly wasn't strong enough to survive whatever arkham would throw at him fully intact.

Damian understood his father's views and worries but he knew Danyal far better than anyone else in this city, and he knew his brother didn't deserve such abandonment. Not from father or anyone else.

This causes frequent fights between Bruce and Damian aswell as Damian distancing himself a bit from Bruce. Damian is determined to help Danyal with or without the others assistance. So he frequently visits Danyal in arkham trying to uncover the root cause of these cannibalistic developments and help Danyal work pass them. Though he may not be the most qualified for the role he certainly isn't giving up on him as father has.

Yes Danny is in arkham he's convinced himself it's the safest option for everyone. They aren't equipped for his ghost powers tho and he can absolutely easily escape. However he decides to let them try to help him knowing he can't get past this alone.

Arkham is cruel however. They keep a shock collar on him to taze him if he seems to become aggressive. They ignore his pleas that the issue isn't psychological and that he genuinely can't eat regular food. They refuse to give him any human meat. They starve him in the hopes it'll force him to work past whatever mental barrier is not allowing him to eat presenting him with regular food at every meal time.

Danny tries. He tries so hard to just eat it and force himself to be normal. Damian begins to take notice of this. Of how sick it makes him. Of how starved his brother is. Why will nobody listen to him it's clear his pleas are based upon experience. He however cannot successfully convince anyone before there's an incident.

Danny kills and eats a guard. They're all helpless to stop him due to his unknown ghostly abilities. The man cut himself tinkering with something and the world went blank as soon and Danny could smell the blood.

Afterwards seeing the incident Danny panics. He convinces himself he is too much of a danger to even be in arkham. He convinces himself he cannot be helped, and he runs. The farther he goes the less of a risk he is to anyone. He just needs to go somewhere nobody else is.

Damian hears of the incident and hears of the breakout. The bats are on high alert they need to track this kid down before he hurts anyone else. Damian needs to track him down before the bats so he can find some way to help Danyal how to figure out how to reverse whatever had been physically done to him to make him this way. If not him than nobody else will.

So Damian fights against the bats and time to try and locate his brother to help him before anyone else can get hurt.

Wether they actually succeed is again up to the writer if anyone picks this up :3c

[rhysiana]

Because I saw a post about how modern AU WWX would probably actually be as tall as LWJ, if not taller, since so many modern AUs don't feature him suffering as much childhood privation as canon, which reminded me of another thought I have had, about how an early life period of interrupted growth can in fact just delay a person's growth spurts rather than eliminating them. Thus: WWX who gets confusingly taller after graduating from college.

3 People Wei Ying Talked to About Suddenly Getting Taller and 1 Person Who Definitely Noticed On His Own

[Now also on AO3]

Wen Ning

Wei Ying looked down at his feet, perplexed. "Wen Ning?" he yelled down the hall. "Did something weird happen to the washing machine that you didn't tell me about?"

Wen Ning popped his head around the door to Wei Ying's room. "No? I don't think so."

"Then why are all my pants suddenly too short?" A new thought occurred to him and he looked up, now delighted. "Wen Ning! Are you actually pulling a prank on me? I know I don't have all that many clothes, but still, this must have taken so much work! I respect the dedication." He held out a fist.

Wen Ning just blinked at him. "I think... maybe you got taller, actually?"

Wei Ying scoffed. "I'm way too old for a growth spurt. Seriously, did Nie Huaisang put you up to this?"

Wen Ning gave up arguing and simply produced a tape measure instead.

~*~

Wen Qing

Wei Ying burst into Wen Qing's lab, which he might have felt worse about if she hadn't been babysitting an experiment while no one else was around. He still received an impressive glare, but he didn't have time to worry about that right now.

"Wen Qing, I need you to test me for every weird kind of chemical exposure you can think of!"

She blinked at him, looking remarkably like her brother for a moment. "Wei Ying, you're in computer science. Exactly when do you come in contact with chemicals?"

"Uh. A leak on the science campus somewhere?"

"What is actually wrong with you? Tell me in the next," she glanced at the clock, "three minutes or leave."

"I apparently grew another inch in the last month without noticing. That can't be natural. I'm 23."

She stared at him for a moment, frowned, and then her expression cleared. "You said once that you had a bad time when you were younger. Stopped growing for a while."

"Why do you even remember that?" Wei Ying asked with an uncomfortable laugh, looking away. He must have been drunk; he didn't usually bring that time of his life up in any detail. It just made people sad.

Wen Qing turned away briskly, ignoring his minor display of emotion, and checked some readouts he was pretty sure hadn't actually changed in any way yet. "Well, that's why. Your growth spurts just got delayed, not erased. It's normal. I'll send you some references tomorrow."

He swept her up in a relieved hug. "Thank you, Qing-jie. Even if this does mean I'm not developing some weird superpower mutation."

She poked him cruelly in the ribs to get him to let go. "Go away, you're distracting me."

~*~

Jiang Cheng

"You what?!" Jiang Cheng demanded at full volume. It'd been a while since they'd managed to get together in person--Wei Ying had nearly forgotten how red with frustration Jiang Cheng could get.

Wei Ying grinned and bounced a little on his toes to really rub it in. "Grew another inch."

"No! This isn't allowed! The universe can't do this to me!"

"What's the problem, little brother?" Wei Ying edged closer so he could prop his elbow on Jiang Cheng's shoulder and really lean on him. "I think I should get jiejie to measure me again and mark it on the door frame. Really make it official."

"Don't you dare!"

"Why don't I ask her now, so she'll be all ready when we see her next weekend?" Wei Ying fished out his phone and then held it up over his head, laughing, as Jiang Cheng lunged for it.

Jiang Cheng's eyes narrowed. "An inch isn't really that much," he growled, and hooked Wei Ying's leg in a takedown they'd both learned when they were 11.

Wei Ying tossed his phone out of wrestling range and turned his full attention to finding a hold that would make Jiang Cheng tap out.

~*~

Lan Zhan

"Wei Ying."

Most people claimed Lan Zhan's voice (and face) didn't have any expression, but Wei Ying could clearly hear the shock underlying his name.

"Lan Zhan!" he returned brightly. "You're back! Did you have a good trip? You've been gone for months and months!"

Wei Ying was used to the intensity of Lan Zhan's regard under normal circumstances--one of the many things he loved about being friends with him--but he didn't think he was imagining that it was particularly intense today.

"It was as I texted you," Lan Zhan said shortly, and then, surprisingly, continued before Wei Ying could get a teasing reply in. "Wei Ying... did you get taller?"

"Oh, that!" Wei Ying felt himself start to blush, for some reason. "Yeah, I did. It was so weird at first, but Qing-jie assures me it's normal, and I've almost gotten used to it now. It was just an inch but I had to go buy all new... pants..." He trailed off as Lan Zhan pushed into his personal space much closer than he ever had without Wei Ying initiating it first, as far as Wei Ying could recall. "Hi?"

They were nearly chest to chest now, and he could see it when Lan Zhan actually had to tilt his chin up just a bit to meet Wei Ying's eyes.

"Hello," Lan Zhan said, grave and low and very, very focused.

Wei Ying wasn't entirely sure what was happening right now, but he was pretty sure he was into it.

[lazycats-stuff]

you know how you did you did another part of jinx and how he’s adapting to his new home, and we see him becoming more comfortable? Could you do the same idea and concept but with the weapon!reader???

Sure. My baby needs to get more comfortable. This gif is a symbol of (Y/N) fitting in. Batfamily & male!reader, PART 2 - first 2 part

Summary: (Y/N) won't be a weapon anymore.

Warnings: the family is trying to get (Y/N) comfortable, fluff, a little bit of angst,

It wasn't an easy feat to make (Y/N) comfortable. First thing that Bruce needed to do was establish the fact that (Y/N) will always have a choice. First thing he did was give (Y/N) a choice of choosing his own room.

(Y/N) was unsure what to do, because of the past experiences with choosing. He was never given a choice. He got what he got and that was it.

No more or less.

He picked a room at the end of the hall, opening the door. It was a nice spacious room, with his own bathroom.

" Since you don't really have clothes, you will have to borrow from Jason and Dick. We got you a toothbrush, tooth paste. Also, if you need something I am 3 doors down. " Bruce said, smiling softly at the teen.

" Alright. " (Y/N) said, entering the room.

" See you tomorrow then. " Bruce said, closing the door.

(Y/N) stood in his room, just looking. He was afraid to touch anything. Was this really his now? Did he really... Have an opportunity to choose?

He shook his head. He can't get comfortable. He really can't. But first, a shower is in order. He stinks a little bit. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he saw a pile of clothes on the bed. He looked at them.

For a split second he heard his handler's voice. He suppressed it and shook his head. If this is really a new life... He needs to let go. But that's always easier said than done. Everything in him was telling him not to do this, not to stay...

But... What if there was a chance to do leave everything behind? He pushed his hair back, licking his lips.

He will think more tomorrow. Right now, he needs to sleep. He is too tired to think.

Damian was in the garden, watching Titus run around happily letting out some energy. He went inside to replace the water inside Titus' water bowl. He frowned when he heard Titus coming in. He saw him walking from the corner of his eye.

When he got zoomies and when he was in the garden he didn't leave for a long while. He would only come in to sleep and eat. And to cuddle.

But he was always somewhere near Damian. Always.

Damian followed Titus quietly. He was going towards the bedrooms and he entered (Y/N)'s.

Damian rose his brow and he slowly walked over to the bedroom door.

" Hey Titus. " Was all that (Y/N) said, before he sighed. There was a little bit of shuffling and then it was silence. Damian poked his head in and saw something that Grayson would have thought to be adorable.

Titus was laying on (Y/N)'s chest, acting like a heavy blanket. Damian also noticed tear tracks on (Y/N)'s cheeks. (Y/N) froze when he saw Damian. He quickly shushed (Y/N) and raised his hands in defense.

" I was just wondering where Titus went. " Damian said, sitting down on the chair near the desk.

" You are feeling torn. " Damian said, watching (Y/N)'s face.

(Y/N) just nodded sheepishly.

" I know you just came and feel like you can't talk to anybody, but you can with me. Whatever you say to me, it's going to be in between us. " Damian said, watching as Titus shifted a little bit.

" I thought about this situation the first night I was let out of the cell. How... much more... It's not easy to think about it. "

" I know how you feel. I was thinking about the same thing. Although, I was way more rebellious. I didn't know what to think... But in the end, this is the best place to be. "

" You felt the same way? " (Y/N) asked, patting Titus' head.

" I did. Torn between all I knew for the first 10 years of my life and a new permanent environment. "

" How did you get over the dilemma? "

" I just accepted the mix of the two. " Damian said, shrugging his shoulders. " Of course, that doesn't have to work for you. " Damian added, watching as (Y/N)'s eyes got a little bit watery.

" I don't think I can let go. Every time I have tried to, just a little bit, I hear my handler's voice. "

Damian nodded. " If you ever need Titus, you can always take him. But he always has that sense for someone with anxiety so he will always go to you. " Damian said, petting Titus.

" Thanks Damian. "

Jason got back from patrol and he was desperate for a smoke. And if he was interrupted, may God help anyone who does that. He showered and changed into the more comfortable clothes. Afterwards, he opened the window and got out on the roof.

He was shocked to find that (Y/N) was already there, smoking too. They looked at the each, wondering what to do. Should they just go separate ways?

" We can smoke in silence? " Jason offered. " Trust me, I need it after the patrole and I don't want anybody to see me. " Jason said, seating next to (Y/N).

" Fine by me. " (Y/N) said, taking an another drag.

They did just that. Silence was prominent and they were just enjoying a good smoke. Jason because patrol was awful and full of shit, (Y/N) because of the thoughts going through his mind.

" Soooo... How are you settling in? " Jason asked, just to fill in the silence.

" It's going slowly. "

" You are feeling torn. " Jason said, taking a drag. He let the smoke out as he watched (Y/N).

" How do you know? " (Y/N) asked, taking a second cigarette.

" I can see it. And you are almost like Damian, but Damian was way more combative and rebellious. He tried to escape the manor multiple times. You are an angel compared to him. " Jason said, chuckling at the attempts.

" Is that why there are defenses? " (Y/N) asked, tilting his head.

" Yes and no. It's against burglars and other more trained people. You know, Bruce has a lot of enemies as a CEO and you know. " Jason said, waving his hands around.

" Huh. Why can I see that? " (Y/N) said, looking off into the distance.

" It's because you met Damian more thoroughly. Because of that you can see it. " Jason explained, leaning back down on the roof.

" He can be nice. " (Y/N) said, huffing out the smoke.

" When he is sleeping maybe. " Jason said, laughing quietly. " You two can bond over the fact of being trained as weapons. And trauma you two share. " Jason said, finishing his cigarette.

" Trauma bonding. " (Y/N) said dryly, also finishing up his cigarette. " Can I ask you something? " (Y/N) started. He thought about asking this for a while now, but he has never gathered any courage until now.

" Sure. What's up? "

" I am kind of tired of being couped up in here. I was wondering if... Bruce said anything about me going on patrol? " (Y/N) finished, looking straight ahead.

" He really didn't say anything... Don't worry, he has it in mind. He just wants to make sure you settle here. " Jason said, moving to the window. It was getting cold.

" He wants to make sure that you are in the right mindset. Patrol is important to him and he doesn't want you to be distracted. " Jason explained moving inside.

(Y/N) looked at the place where Jason was sitting down just moments before. Maybe. Just maybe.

Tim sighed as he was trying to find Black Mask. He was a slippery little shit who was keeping a low profile. Tim sighed quietly, rubbing his eyes. Tim turned his head to see (Y/N) coming into the cave. Tim liked (Y/N).

" Black Mask? " (Y/N) asked, moving closer to big computer. He had a general idea who that man is and what he does. But he wasn't different than the targets that (Y/N) was killing.

" Yup. I can't track him down for the life of me. " Tim said, leaning back. " How would you do it? " Tim asked, ready to get some help.

" Well, I would look for his second in command and torture him until he gives me the info. Of course, I would make sure that it's all incognito and what not. I assume you are not allowed to torture? " (Y/N) asked, making Tim nod.

" Well, we can't find his second in command either. " Tim explained.

(Y/N) looked at the screen, making him wonder. How would he approach this?

" Then look for his lieutenants. They are always in contact with the second in command. " (Y/N) said. " And if that doesn't work, then you have to look at the safe houses. Black Mask is in the city. " (Y/N) said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

" I hate him. " Tim declared making (Y/N) chuckle quietly. He wasn't the only one.

Dick was happy about this. It was the time where the family could have a movie night and they could be together to bond as a family. More so, (Y/N) could get more comfortable and that was a priority.

To absolutely everyone.

Dick went upstairs and basically dragged (Y/N) down. (Y/N), of course, allowed it. To Dick, that was a sign that (Y/N) got more comfortable.

(Y/N) was made to sit down on the couch, then covered with a blanket.

" What is happening? " (Y/N) asked, clearly confused.

" A movie night! Tonight, it's going to be Harry Potter movies. " Dick said, clearly excited.

" Harry Potter? "

Everyone stopped and looked at (Y/N). Bruce tried not to feel sad and tried to ignore that feeling that feeling in his heart. What the hell?

" Okay, so let me give you a brief summary. " Dick said, quickly giving (Y/N) a quick summary.

Everyone glanced at each other. They were going to give (Y/N) a brand new childhood. Starting with Harry Potter movies.

[etheribot]

5 tips for the work-at-home witch ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

when i'm not witching around, i actually have a day job! my job is primarily a work from home job, spending my days alone in my room writing reports and reading legal documents... it gets stale (●´⌓`●) this is a list of some little witchy things i do to keep my head on straight and prevent myself from going mad and impulsively quitting my job!

some of these tips might also work for students!

you might have to switch it up a bit, but some of these tips could help you get through homeschooling, digital learning days, or homework.

₊˚⊹♡ 1. light a candle ♡⊹˚₊

one of the first things i do when i begin work for the day is to light a simple votive candle. the element of fire is a strong element, and by lighting a candle you can harness the energetic energy of the flame. the goal of lighting a candle while you work is to keep yourself "fired up" per say ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ . light the candle with the intention of remaining motivated and energized. for extra effectiveness, you could dress the candle with herbs that also have energizing metaphysical properties. (remember, though, always double check that your herbs are safe to burn!)

₊˚⊹♡ 2. use a sigil ♡⊹˚₊

sigils are an extremely simple yet effective way to use magick! personally, i like to draw the sigil on the back of my dominant (or "working hand") with a non-permanent marker. if you follow this method, be sure to wash it off once you've finished work for the day! leaving a sigil on your body too long can be a bit draining in my personal experience.

if you're more artsy, you could make a piece of art out of a sigil to keep on your desk. a painting, a piece of embroidery, a sketch, or even some digital art done and turned into your desktop wallpaper (tech witches would love that, i feel.)!

i personally like to make my sigils for work out of phrases like "may i work efficiently", "may my work be done properly", but & "may information come easily to me".

₊˚⊹♡ 3. money bowl ♡⊹˚₊

i actually haven't done this yet (˃ᆺ˂) it's a spell i plan to do during the next full moon.

but! the idea of a money bowl is to essentially bring more money in to your life. if you're looking for a promotion or a pay raise, a money bowl on your desk certainly won't hurt!

₊˚⊹♡ 4. work outside ♡⊹˚₊

if you're able, work somewhere other than you're typical working area at least once a week. coffee shops, libraries... even a different room in your house! the change of energy will keep you from feeling too stagnant.

i really recommend taking your work outside, if able. sometimes, i print out a few documents i need to read and go sit out under a tree in my yard. sitting outside in nature not only helps to keep you grounded, but it also helps foster your connection with the local nature spirits. connecting to your local nature spirits AND getting your work done at the same time... talk about multitasking! (ᴗᵔᴥᵔ) if you can't work outside, then take time during your breaks to step outside. a small walk or even just sitting outside under the sun is enough to help keep your centered.

₊˚⊹♡ 5. enchant a watch ♡⊹˚₊

i have severe ADHD, but i also have severe severe severe anxiety. because of this, under my doctor's guidance, i can't take ADHD medicine for fear of my anxiety medicine not working effectively. since i'm rawdogging my ADHD i tend to have a hard time staying on schedule... so i've enchanted my watch!

i recommend using materials that promote focus and organization. ever since casting an enchantment on my watch, i've noticed an uptick in my overall productivity in all facets of my life - work included. i haven't missed a deadline, and while i still have a nasty habit of procrastinating, once i finally make the effort to begin work i find myself staying on schedule way easier than before.

that's it for now! if you have any questions or would like me to go further into detail about certain things, feel free to send me an ask! <3

[lover-of-mine]

I'm gonna start this off by saying that this has been ping-ponging around my head like that old dvd screensaver, quicking around and getting more unhinged every time it hit a corner since April. And while this is a meta on the cemetery scene in Death and Taxes, I will be going back and forth in the whole show, so I don't know, buckle up, grab your delusional juice, and come with me if you feel like it.

First thing about that scene is that it tries to make you think about the equine therapy conversation in Dumb Luck.

They are in a location we have never seen before and probably will never see again, the outfits are similar, and even the circumstances of the conversation could be read as close to each other, considering Eddie wasn't doing well after almost dying, Buck is definitely not handling his death well. I made a way too detailed meta about the cinematography of buddie during Eddie's breakdown era (you can read it if you want more details) but the main thing about the dumb luck conversation is that Eddie is finally letting Buck in after continuously shutting him down when he tried to offer help and that's reflected on the way they filmed the scene, the way they are talking, moving, positioned in the frame. It's about Buck reminding Eddie that there's hope after all. Considering the moment Buck's in, with them alluding to that conversation, you would've expected for them to do a similar thing with Buck, right? That this scene going to give Buck the same type of peace the equine therapy talk gave Eddie.

But it doesn't. One thing that's kind of a pattern with Buck, Eddie, and Eddie reassuring Buck (if you could call 2 scenes a pattern) is that they have Buck looking up at Eddie (I also talked about this in more detail here if you're interested) but that's interesting because of Buck's height, he's the tallest person in the room, so he's not usually looking up at people, but something about Buck as character is that he has the tendency to sit in higher places, so he's always higher, and he even picked a place where he can sleep in a high spot.

But when he's getting reassurance from other people in his life, they are both usually sitting down, at the same eye level.

But when he goes to Eddie for reassurance, Eddie is standing up and Buck is sitting down, so Buck is literally looking up at Eddie when he goes to Eddie for advice. And Eddie is always focused on Buck, in Home and Away, Eddie is reasoning with him, and in Recovery Eddie is trying to give Buck what Buck is asking while not pushing his boundaries.

Why is that relevant here? Well, Buck spends the whole conversation in the cemetery trying to get Eddie to look at him and Eddie spends most of the conversation looking forward so he won't have to.

And that alone is very interesting because Eddie is always looking at Buck. I could legit put 100 screenshots here to prove it. So the fact that Eddie can't look at Buck here, means something. Because Buck wants Eddie to be on his side, he needs Eddie to tell him he's doing the right thing, but the way he's talking is making Eddie shut down.

Buck wants answers, right? He wants the easy way out. He died, he has feelings about it he doesn't want to deal with, so he's looking for whatever answers he can get so he won't have to. But the way he's talking sounds a lot like the way Eddie talks to him in Kids Today when he drops Christopher off with him before the tsunami. Very you're alive, get over it thing Eddie had going that ended with him literally destroying everything he had. So, like, we know that's not the way to go about near-death experiences, it doesn't end well because the pressure has to go somewhere and let's face it, Buck has never dealt with anything that happened to him ever. He can't just keep moving past the shit he's been through, at some point, that's gonna catch up to him.

But the thing about the actual content of the conversation is the way that Eddie tries to do the thing he usually does, reason with Buck, "been down that road, don't recommend it" or "or you don't know her the way he does" or "now am I allowed to ask how you are", because it's how they work, but Buck shuts him down with the "I feel like she sees me, like she really sees me for who I am" because that threw Eddie off balance in their relationship, in their friendship really, considering they way they showed us buddie from in a flash to mixed feelings, Eddie is trying his best to be someone Buck relies on, the way we've seen him rely on Buck through his trauma recovery. And one thing we see Eddie constantly do is back away so he won't get hurt once things get too intense. He puts space between him and whatever is bothering him, he ran to LA to escape his parents' judgment (and to be closer to Shannon but his parents played a part there), he kept Shannon at arm's length through most of the time she was back in his life before she died, he kept pushing Buck away after the lawsuit, he pushes everyone away really before his PTSD took him down. Dude retreats from the fight if he's not sure and Buck throws him off balance. Because up until this moment, Eddie thinks he's helping, but we see him realize he was wrong and shut down in real time.

He's still trying, but his thing now is agreeing with Buck. This gif has 11 seconds, black and white because I wanted the whole thing in one gif, but Buck is trying to get a reaction out of him, but Eddie already moved to a whatever you say buddy mode. AND EDDIE JUST WON'T LOOK AT BUCK.

So Buck wants to know if he's doing the right thing, Eddie is agreeing with him not because he agrees with him but because now he thinks that whatever he's doing is not helping so putting distance between them will be what's best because Buck is getting what he needs somewhere else so he needs to minimize the damage to himself.

And the distance thing is something that stays until the end of the season, because during the first half of 6B, they are together the whole time, mixed feelings being obviously the biggest example, but they made a point of highlighting the fact that they were very close outside the firehouse, just to stop. They were chilling at Buck's loft, they were out and about scheming the fire captain, Buck looked more comfortable at Eddie's than he did in his own place. But then we don't even see them together in the hospital after the bridge. Like, there's s p a c e now.

And I spent a really long time trying to figure out what was going on with this scene that made such an impression on me, and it's that Buck doesn't sound like someone who believes in what they're saying, he sounds like someone who's justifying themselves and hoping they are doing the right thing. And Eddie doesn't really let him get away with this line of thought, not usually, but he does now, so they leave that conversation with different impressions of how it went. Buck thinks he's right and Eddie is just backing the fuck off.

And a while back it downed on me what other scene this made me think of. And that's the fountain scene in merry ex-mas.

They are even shot in a similar way, the off-center wide angle, the close-up from a side angle where you can see the other one slightly blurry, the focus of the conversation angled toward the front of the frame, everything happening in an outside location we will never probably see again, the way they are not looking at each other. And the conversation is similar too, I mean, sure they are not talking about dying but it is a big decision in Eddie's life that sounds like Eddie is justifying himself and needs Buck to agree with him. And Buck is agreeing with him, and not talking about it even though we KNOW he has opinions because he kept trying to talk about it with Chimney because Buck doesn't think it's his place to have an opinion and offer it to Eddie. Both scenes sound like they are talking and understanding each other but what the scene is showing us is that they are not.

And something about the way they are pretty much never looking at each other is that it is a way to show they are not seeing eye to eye in a situation, the most extreme example I can think of it is when Eddie drags Buck out of bed in Kids Today because they are pretty much never looking at each other there.

But to have them face the same direction is a really easy way to make you feel like something is wrong, especially if they are not moving, because if they are standing in the same spot for 3 minutes they could've turned to face each other, but they don't, because the message here is that they are not really seeing each other. And that in a conversation where Buck is talking about being seen by someone else????? Like, come on, that's so on purpose.

I also wanna add a take that's not mine, all credit to @anxieteandbiscuits for putting this particular thought in my head with this post, that's basically about how the "dating someone you rescued? that never ends well" line might also be another justification for why Eddie chooses to stay quiet. Because one thing is true, and that is that buddie do be rescuing each other. And it really sounds like something Eddie would do, to justify to himself not doing something that could make him lose Buck any way he could, because romantic relationships are very unstable, no matter how much you want it to work, how much you love each other, there's a very real level of unpredictability in a romantic relationship that doesn't exist in their friendship. So to imagine him going "the friendship is good, the friendship is what I need, I won't do anything to change that because I don't have to and it probably wouldn't end well with our track record anyway" makes a lot of sense too.

If you made it to here, I love you <3

I have more metas here if you feel like reading more of my brand of insanity.

[championari]

Alright. I said I would write this and I’m gonna stay true to my word.

I’ve been seeing a lot of takes since The Giggle has come out questioning the potency of 14’s ending. People have been citing multiple different times during the reboot era where the Doctor has “settled down” somewhere, from Darillium, the university in S10, to even Trenzalore. However, I think all of these comparisons are apples to oranges, completely missing the details of each instance and how The Giggle’s ending rebukes all of them. 

So, because I cannot leave an inaccurate take alone, I’m going through every single one of these instances and explain why 14’s ending is different from them, in chronological order.

I’m gonna start with a weird one: S7EP4, The Power of Three. Because it provides a good example of all the things we’re going to be talking about. 

Prior to this episode, long time fans already had a good idea that the Doctor…does not do well in monotonous environments, a truth that is consistent across multiple incarnations.

“I don’t do families.”

“Street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home. I’ve never had a life like that.”

“Here you are, Living a life, day after day. The one adventure I could never have.”

“Christmas dinner.” “I don’t do that sort of thing.”

“Oh god I had a terrible nightmare about you two!” [Talking about Amy and Rory having a normal life in Leadworth]

The entirety of The Lodger

“There’s a bigger, scarier adventure waiting for you in there.”

The Power of Three, spells this truth out in bold, montage style marker pen. The Doctor “needs to be busy”. Why, as Amy later asks?

Personally I think this answer varies slightly between regenerations, based on experiences and losses each face goes through. 9 couldn’t imagine a life of peace coming out of a war, a war that he had a major hand in. 10 continues that idea, with the added baggage of losing Rose. 11’s reasoning is a bit subtler: he says to Amy that he is running to things before they go, as if he now understands how short beautiful things last. He’s going from one thing to the next in avoidance of staying to watch things die. 

“And what’s the alternative? Me standing over your grave?”

This doesn’t change by the end of the episode. The Doctor explicitly tells the Ponds that he’s only staying to watch the cubes, and once the threat is gone, he’s already out the door. He only stops because of a potential threat, an idea we will return to in the next example. He even accepts the idea of Amy and Rory wanting to stay behind: “things to do. Worlds to save. Swings to swing on. Look, I know. You both have lives here. beautiful, messy lives. That is what makes you so fabulously human. You don’t want to give them up. I understand.” The Doctor is saying, ‘I know you have lives here, and that I can’t always be a part of that. And that’s ok.’ 

This episode in my opinion is a perfect microcosm of The Doctor regarding this topic, spelling out explicitly why The Doctor can't ever settle down. The Doctor needs to have something to run to because they don't feel secure enough in any place to not allow their altruism outweigh their need to process their trauma. The only thing that could motivate the Doctor to stop, even just for a second, is the promise that their friend(s) will be there too. The next example is the worst-case scenario of this issue.

Trenzalore is an interesting case. When I first heard of it being counted, I immediately shut it down, because Trenzalore was a literal war zone (wars are obviously not a good place for mental health time). But in doing research, there is actually way more baggage contained in this period making it unsuitable for this argument than just that fact. 

Trenzalore was set up to be the Doctor’s final resting place, where they would truly die. It wasn’t the first time a death prophecy had surrounded the Time Lord, and once again, just as with The End of Time, the thing that kills them is, what Davros would later call The Doctor's “greatest indulgence”: compassion. Tasha Leem warns 11 that she will burn the planet upon the possibility of the Time Lords returning, a warning the Doctor takes extremely seriously.

“This planet is protected.”

“Christmas has a new sheriff.”

For 300 years, 11 stayed true to his word. He fought long and hard, for the townspeople and his own. He was celebrated and was loved. But Clara returning with the TARDIS revealed how he really felt about all of it. 

“Everyone gets stuck somewhere eventually.”

“But you didn’t have your TARDIS.” “Well, that made it easier to stay.” 

There’s an unspoken sentiment in these words, echoing 11's philosophy in Power of Three: the Doctor will always want to leave, in this case, to understandably avoid his prophesied death. But he doesn’t, because “Every life I save is a victory”. Their compulsion to help, their innate capacity to help those in need. So often it’s been their greatest strength, but here it’s framed as destructive selflessness. 11 has become so wholly committed to helping others before himself that he’s willing to accept his own death. 

Clara correctly calls this out: “What about your life? Just for once, After all this time, have you not earned the right to think about that?” The Doctor didn’t stay on Trenzalore for himself, he stayed for everyone besides himself. It’s only because Clara gave the Time Lords a proper verbal smackdown that the Doctor managed to survive. Had they not intervened, The Doctor would've suffered and died, once again to protect them, despite already saving them from annihilation in the previous episode, Day of The Doctor. Trenzalore wasn't The Doctor stopping, it was a century-long effort to keep satiating the bottomless survivor's guilt they still carried from The Time War.

Darillium is yet another case of looking like a time the Doctor settled down somewhere on the surface. But the details don’t match that conclusion. The entire thesis of 12 and River’s final conversation was about the fleeting nature of their situation. 

“Times end, River, because they have to. Because there’s no such thing as happily ever after. It’s just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard.”

The Doctor says this, cries at hearing the Singing Towers, despite already knowing they have 24 years in a night. Because he knows it can’t last. There’s already a deadline on their moment of peace before it’s begun. Eventually River must go to The Library. 

The final quote of the episode punctuates this: “And they lived happily ever after.” Fading away until “happily” remains. Because they didn’t have their “ever after” and they didn’t “live”, because a person can’t entirely experience life to the fullest with a clock hanging over their head. 

While they got their moment of happiness, it was only a moment. 24 years is just a blink of an eye for a Time Lord, and sure enough, we see by the end of “The Return of Doctor Mysterio”, the next chronological episode, 12 is ready to leap back into the fray. Still the same overall Doctor he was before.

The University is an extension of this. We find out that the only reason he has stayed is to guard Missy in the vault. When 12 tries to mindwipe Bill (an eerie parallel to both Donna and Clara), he directly says: “I have no choice, I’m in disguise. I have promises to keep.” Just like with Trenzalore, The Doctor’s altruism has trapped him somewhere he doesn’t actually want to be. The second he hesitates, he immediately runs after Bill, inviting her into the TARDIS and sneaks off to the universe behind Nardole’s back.

So, now that we’ve gone through each past instance, what’s the connection? What’s the key issue(s) that prevented the Doctor from permanently stopping in any of these cases?

The (fear of) loss of their friends, and the Doctor’s own self-loathing. Either out of fear of the march of time, or the chains that their altruistic nature binds them to, The Doctor always runs away from the picket fence life.

Now, let’s look at 14 and how this ending departs from all other examples.

Wild Blue Yonder and The Giggle more prominently explains 14’s origins as a coping mechanism. The reason why 10’s face came back was to retreat to an incarnation that didn’t invoke the loss of The Ponds, Clara, and Bill. The second destruction of Gallifrey and the reveal of The Timeless Child. The Doctor’s avoidance of their trauma has now been made physical, just like how mental stress can often manifest as physical changes or ailments. 

“We stand here now, on the edge of creation, a creation that I devastated, so yes I keep running, of course I keep running!! How am I supposed to look back on that?!”

Already this is a departure from the instances we’ve discussed, because by the very nature of having 10’s face again, it’s forcing the Doctor to ask why. 

“It’s like I'm trying to tell myself something. Like I’m trying to make a point.”

But 14 chooses not to answer it, because answering it means accepting the truth: it’s too much. The trauma can’t be avoided anymore, because The Doctor would always be reminded of what they’re trying to avoid by looking in a reflection. 14 telling Shirley, “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Then asking Donna, “what am I? What am I now?” It’s not because he’s been given a blank slate and doesn’t know what to do with it, like other regeneration stories. In trying to run away again, to bury the trauma and pain, The Doctor has made it more visible than ever, and doesn’t know what to do with that. 

Ironically, the Toymaker causing the bi-generation was the greatest gift he could’ve given the Doctor, because 15 was exactly who 14 needed to see. He’s happy, energetic, full of life and wonder, but also empathetic, understanding and open. He’s the only other person in the entire universe who The Doctor will listen to (well, one person, we’ll get to the other later), because he knows all of the trauma they went through, and yet, made it through ok.

“But you’re fine.”

“I’m fine, because you fix yourself.”

15 is leading by example, their own ‘ghost of Christmas future’ but positive. 14 now has an ideal self to strive towards, a face born from love and empathy. 14 doesn’t have to ground herself out of moral obligation, 15 will now protect the universe. 

But that leaves one question: why Donna? Out of all of the people to settle down with, why her? That’s easy: because she gets it. 

Donna, out of all of the companions the Doctor traveled with, understood the soul behind the legend, because she recognized someone fundamentally similar to herself. One of Donna’s signature character flaws is her horrendously low self esteem: “I’m nothing special.” no one ever listened to her (thanks Sylvia, for at least cleaning up your act later), so she covered up the silence with noise. She held onto whatever indisputable moments of genius she had to drown out the cacophony of voices shutting her up. Wild Blue Yonder explained this perfectly: Donna believes she is both brilliant and stupid at the same time. 

She lives in two contradictory self images at once, and so does The Doctor. The genius and the idiot. The universe’s most fascinating person, and the person who would easily throw away their life for the betterment of others. She’s seen their blinding arrogance/rage (the Racnoss, Jenny) and their crippling self doubt/loneliness, and always met both with empathy and kindness. 

“Doctor! You can stop now!”

“Cause sometimes I think you need someone to stop you.” 

“It won’t stay like that. She’ll help you. We both will.” 

“Is ‘alright’ special Time Lord code for ‘really not alright’ at all?” “Why?” “Cause I’m alright too.”

Donna shouldered the burden of destroying Pompeii, she silently hugged 10 after coming back from Midnight. All because she knew what all of that would feel like in her own life. She didn’t need to know the history of The Doctor and Davros, because she saw her best friend afraid and knew he would want comfort, because she would too.

Even if Dalek Caan manipulated the timelines to get Donna to him, That friendship was completely real to both of them. We saw what Donna was like without the Doctor in Forest of the Dead and Turn Left, and she always felt some level of unhappiness. 15 years removed from them and she still felt as if something was missing. In every future/reality, she always wanted them there. Same for the Doctor too. Within only a few episodes of losing her, 10 started to fall into becoming the “time lord victorious”. 12 looks the way he does because of Donna’s plea to adhere to his name, and save people. Even before 14 came into existence, the Doctor was willing to tell other people how important she was to them, on account of River recognizing Donna by her name: “you’re Donna, Donna Noble.”

Donna didn’t just travel with the Doctor and she wasn’t just friends with them. She completely understood them, their soulmate. Two halves of a greater whole, The DoctorDonna. 14 stayed because there was a more stable incarnation to take his place, and because his best friend would be there alongside him, helping and supporting him through and through. The Doctor stayed because, for the first time in their life, they felt safe. In where they would be staying, and what they would be leaving behind. 

That's why 15 doubling the TARDIS was so significant. In giving 14 her own TARDIS, 15 is allowing his younger self to have what they always removed from the equation: free will. The Doctor can still go anywhere they want, which makes them even more motivated to stay and fix themself. 14 can feel safe staying with Donna, Wilf, Mel, Rose, Shaun, and Sylvia because the option to travel is still there.

And the truly amazing part of all of this is that the TARDIS knew it from the beginning. Was it a coincidence that very soon after 13 regenerated into 14, the TARDIS landed close to where Donna and Rose would be shopping? 

“You didn’t always take me where I wanted to go.” “No, but I always took you where you needed to go.”

The TARDIS brought the Doctor home, and this time, they stayed. Because it was a place where they wanted and needed to be. 

[pokemenlovingmen]

Could I request some headcannons of the ScarVi boys with an agender s/o who struggles a lot with dissociation and stuff? Like maybe how they’d comfort them. Preferably it/its and nym/nyms pronouns please. I personally don’t like being seen as super human due to how often I dissociate if that gives any ideas for writing.

Hello~ so sorry for how long this took. Life has been. A lot. I don't know how much use of pronouns I'll have since I generally write in the second person but I'll do my best! I also have issues with dissociation, but not a lot, so I hope I represent things as best as I can for you. I know everyone's dissocciation manifests differently as well as what helps, some folks need to be put into a lot of activity while others need isolation for a bit, at least from my experience, so I just want to represent all I can. :)

Also if I left anyone out you were looking for please let me know! There's a lotta guys so I left out a few, you said "boys" so I went with the academy guys.

ScarVio Boys x Agender S/O Who Dissocciates!

Arven

🥪 - Arven is definitely a little confused when you first dissocciate around him. First he's worried it's something he did. Then he's worried you're sick or something. So he doesn't handle it super well the first time it happens. But once he realizes what's going on he falls into a rhythm.

🥪 - He's always incredibly communicative but tries to keep himself from grilling you with questions. He handles things with a fair bit of caution as he gradually gets a feel of what dissocciating looks like for you and what you need.

🥪 - Arven always has your back when it comes to your needs. He makes sure you're well-fed and hydrated. If you can't bring yourself to cook for yourself, of course he's going to be doing it for you. (And speaking from personal experience god wouldn't that be the best)

🥪 - Mabosstiff is always hanging out with you too. Sometimes Arven will help guide your hands through the Pokemon's long, coarse fur as a grounding device. Or if you need a lot of sensory input to help, he can also totally just let Mabosstiff jump on you and lick you half to death.

🥪 - He gets restless when there's not something he can do for you at all times and he needs to take time to learn sometimes the best thing he can do to help is just sit with you in silence. Though, occasionally, he'll ask if you'd feel better if he talks. He'd talk for hours if it meant helping bring you down to Earth.

Giacomo

🔈 - Music is one of the best grounding tools and you can bet your ass Giacomo is using every last bit of his musical knowledge and gear to help you.

🔈 - He gets you your own pair of custom headphones, whatever kind you want, one of those types that have noise cancelling you can switch on and off if you're dissocciating for reasons of being overwhelmed.

🔈 - He puts together all the very playlists of all your favorite songs, organized by vibe ofc.

🔈 - And if you need it he'd be happy to share an earbud with you if you need the one-on-one connection of listening to music together.

🔈 - If you're in a public space he's also very swift and on the spot with getting you somewhere calm to decompress.

🔈 - He doesn't really have many words for you, but he'll squeeze your hand and remind you with gentle touches that you're here, and so is he.

Atticus

🧵 - If talking helps guide you through dissocciation, he's probably the one for you. You ask, and he'll just sit next to you and wax poetry for hours. It can help if you're someone who just needs words or conversation, it doesn't matter what the content is.

🧵 - If what you need is a quiet place to come back down to earth he'll whisk you to the very best right away. He has some good spots he finds ideal for meditation that he finds would be ideal.

🧵 - Atticus has lots of little one-on-one activities he offers to do with you. He'll paint your nails, let you try things on or model for him, even just hold up a sleeve of one of his current projects for him to stitch.

🧵 - Or if you need him to just sit next to you in silence, he can do that too. Or if you need him completely gone he'll leave you alone for as long as you need. I think Atticus understands better than most what you might need and to be patient with you, and he never takes your distance personally if it needs to happen.

🧵 - He can also put together some kind of garment like a sweater or hoodie that's sensory-friendly and he will take every last one in your preferences into account. Colors, weight, length, especially material, if you ever make a request expect it to be followed to a T.

🧵 - No matter what it is, if there's one thing you can be sure of it's that Atticus will be patient.

[fangirlingnuisance]

"Goodbyes are bittersweet. But it's not the end, I'll see your face again."

- Walking In The Wind, One Direction

I never thought I would be 25 and writing about someone from One Direction's passing. The way I imagined it in my head, I'd be in a home with my teenage kids and they'd be the ones to tell me about it. Never in my wildest dreams would I think I'd get the news from my brother who just came home from his graveyard shift, waking me up at 8 in the morning, delivering the news that One Direction will never be complete again.

I admit, this has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm not even sure if it had completely sunken in. Having someone you grew up loving and who was vital to your formative years -- grow up to be someone you dislike, his passing has come with a wave of confusing emotions. It's been some time since I supported Liam the way I liked the career of the other boys. When his ex-fiancée Maya shared her traumatic experiences with him, I felt myself growing farther from him. This then made me question why in the wake of his death, my heart was broken into pieces.

That thought was answered through my tears and constant scrolling through social media in search of comfort and reassurance that I wasn't the only one feeling this way. Then I came across this tweet:

It all became so clear to me. I am grieving for the teenager who stayed up late, cried, laughed, cheered, screamed, and did everything because of One Direction. I grieve for that little girl in me who clung to them when I was going through some of the darkest days of my life. I am grieving the boy I grew up watching, the one I first loved in 1D. I was grieving the version of him I remember, not the version I barely knew. Call it parasocial, it is. But it's awfully difficult to detach when he was part of something that played such a big role in the way I am, the friends I have today, and the journey I had to go through to get where I am.

The ache I feel when people I used to constantly watch/listen to resurface and talk about him. It was like I was transported back to a time when everything felt easier in life but this one -- this is one of the most tragic ways to relive that feeling. Photos of him and the boys I lived through, lyrics of them plastered on different social media pages, the voice I used to hear when I wanted something comforting; they all have different meanings now.

I was silently rooting for him to get the proper help. I wanted him to realize his mistakes, learn from them, make amends, reap what he sewed, and go get better. He just needed a little more time.

But it's too late now. Wow, I can't even believe that this is real. Heavy is the weight of the news that came today and I still can't seem to really wrap my head around it. I find myself staring at the wall or at my phone screen, trying to make sense of it all. I don't even know why I decided to write this and post it here. I think maybe because this place was one of those places I frequented during those times, or maybe I wanted somewhere where I felt I could freely express this. I don't know. I just know I wanted to pay tribute to the boy I once knew, the boy I grew up with.

I am heartbroken, Liam. You will be missed, especially by those who loved you. I pray for your family, your parents, and your son. May they find light in such a dark time. 🤍🪽

Liam James Payne 1993-2024

[ifeellikeameowster]

Steven Universe Fusion Opinions: Peridot

I've seen a lot of people commenting on posts and tiktoks that no one is allowed to make fan fusions of Peridot, so I wanted to throw my two cents in.

Before we start, let me just say that I Myself Am On the A Spectrum!! I'm a sex-repulsed asexual and fall somewhere on the aromantic spectrum (still note sure yet if I'm aro, cupio, or demi romantic).

No that that's out of the way,

I Think Peridot Should Be Allowed to Fuse.

"But the creators said she's asexual (and maybe aromantic)!"

Yes, true. And I love that for her. We always need more a spectrum rep! But let's get Several things straight.

First of all: Fusion Does NOT Equal Sex! Fusion is a relationship in ANY form, whether friendship, familial, romantic, toxic, business, allies, etc. Saying fusion is sex would put into question ALL of Steven's (who is a Minor) fusions with adults.

Not to mention Greg is his father, he sees Amethyst as a sister and Pearl and Garnet as mother figures.

Even Stevonnie would be questionable since they were so young when they first fused. So NO, fusing = having sex is just NOT a thing. Fusions can be between Anyone! Not just romantic or sexual partners.

"Okay, but Peridot seemed so uncomfortable when she tried to fuse with Garnet! She hates fusion!"

Peridot never outright stated that she hated fusion. She just spouted Homeworld propaganda because at the time she was still considering herself a Homeworld gem. She was still starstruck over Yellow Diamond. As for Garnet,

Peridot was still new to the Earth. She was lost far from home, stuck on a planet about to be destroyed with "dangerous" rebel gems, and was learning how to deal with all these new things she'd never experienced before. She wasn't a crystal gem yet and hadn't been through her full redemption arc yet. Of Course she'd be too nervous to fuse, she didn't fully trust them yet! Any fusion that resulted from that dance would have been unstable at that current time.

But the thing is, Peridot Has Come a Long Way Since Then.

She joined the Crystal Gems, rebelled against Homeworld and Yellow Diamond, and formed Genuine connections with other gems for the first time in her life.

Saying she can't fuse is like saying she doesn't experience love for or connections to anyone in her life. It's like saying those on the a spectrum can't experience love or connection to anyone in their life. But she can and so can we! Friendship exists! Platonic love exists! Familial love exists! QPRs exists! We don't need to experience romantic or sexual attraction to form bonds with the people we love around us, and neither does Peridot. We're not broken or lacking in love, and neither is Peridot.

TLDR: Peridot should be allowed to fuse in fandom based works because Fusing Does Not Equal Sex and because Peridot has Formed Genuine Platonic Connections with Other Gems.

💚Thank you for coming to my Gem Talk!💚

[honeygrahambitch]

I do have a thing for paternal Will tonight, I know but bear with me for this one.

Will is married since before season 1, it doesn't matter who she is, she dies after the kid turns two. Somewhere around the time Will is freed from the hospital. Great, his wife dies and he is left with a child to raise on his own.

Hannibal wouldn't take this kid away from him. He just can't. He sees them together and he realizes that this is something he cannot interfere with. However what he can do to still be present in Will life is to help him raise the kid.

Will is pretty spiteful after he leaves the hospital, and very much petty especially to Hannibal. Now add the sleepless nights and constant stress and overthinking of being a single father. His brain is full time thinking about his own demons coming to surface, being a good father and doing something about Hannibal (trapping him? Tho this slowly changes).

He genuinely enjoys playing with his kid and reading him stories or walking with him in the forest and teaching him about leaves and bugs and animals and especially about fish.

However, after the first weeks of being a single parent, Will wants is to take a 3 hour nap. Nothing more. It would be a luxury considering he has to cook and he has to watch his kid constantly.

He vents about it during one of his therapy sessions. He vents about being tired and feeling incapable of being a good parent. The heavy bags under his eyes reflect his feelings.

That's when Hannibal offers to watch his kid for a few hours so he can get some sleep. Will refuses, he can't trust Hannibal with a toddler. He has no experience. He is dangerous.

Hannibal tells him that a few hours should not be a problem. And he can cook too, Will doesn't have to worry. He promises he doesn't eat children and especially something that was conceived by Will. Will is skeptical but in the end he gives in. He needs some sleep if he wants to be able to work and be a good father.

He drops his kid at Hannibal's place and goes to sleep. What he did not expect was that his 3 hour nap turned into an 8 hour nap. It's almost midnight when he drives to Baltimore. He is desperate. Hannibal doesn't even pick up his phone.

When he starts knocking at his door he is debating breaking it down whatsoever. He regrets every choice he had ever taken. When Hannibal opens the door and Will wants to start talking, Hannibal covers his mouth instantly and gestures to him to be quiet.

"He fell asleep a while ago." Hannibal whispers. "Turned my phone off so he wouldn't wake up. Didn't expect that he would want three bedtime stories. But he said you always tell him three stories. I could not disappoint."

"I don't tell him three stories" Will whispers amused, now that he knows his kid is safe.

"At least we know he got your manipulation skills, then." Hannibal replies as he walks with Will to the living room where his toddler is sleeping soundly, wrapped in a blanket.

"We had dinner. And I also cooked for you for tomorrow."

"You shouldn't have." Will says as guilt starts creeping up on him. "I abused of your free time. I couldn't wake up." He explains as they walk into the kitchen.

"Will, you needed the sleep and I can assure you, my time was not abused off. Your kid is special."

"That's what all parents want to hear." Will says and laughs. "Does the fact that a psychiatrist says that make it a bad thing?"

"Being special? No. He must take it from his father."

"Oh, please, hopefully he doesn't."

"I disagree. Don't forget it's a matter of genes and environment. And they don't look too bad."

"Yeah, his dead has serial killer tendencies and his babysitter is a serial killer who cooks people as a hobby. We nailed the environment part, Hannibal."

They both laugh.

From then on Will is more open towards letting Hannibal babysit his kid. They are almost like a little family. Not only is it convenient for Will's time management but his kid also loves spending time with Hannibal.

Will finally reaches a certain sense of stability he has long waited for.

[ineffabildaddy]

Hi sam! since the new year is approaching rapidly, i wanted to ask my favorite creators (that includes you! your fics and your posts delight me) how they look back on their 2023 tumblr year and which blogs made them happy to be here. i am very happy to follow you and hope you'll have a great 2024! 💘

hi!!! thank you so so much for this, a few months ago i couldn't even imagine being so active in the tumblr community again, let alone anyone's favourite anything!!!!

i've been very fortunate to receive the warmest of welcomes back to tumblr after a 7-year absence, and i've received so much support for my writing (and my shitposts lol) that this whole experience of finally joining the good omens fandom has genuinely given me a newfound confidence in my creative self, and in myself as a whole💙

in terms of the blogs that make me happy to be here... they are many!!! i shall put the rest of this post under the cut

@raining-stars-somewhere-else thank you for being my first go friend and now one of my closest buddies!!! i can't wait for us to finally write that fic together (lol) and for us to get up to some irl london shenanigans at some point✨ ur hilarious and kind and so correct about literally everything and i love u. literally everyone needs to read ur posts bc they're so well-thought out and unique. also your fics are really moving and human (even though they're about crowley and aziraphalekldfjgjl) and i adore them

@sad-chaos-goblin we literally just Get Each Other, same brain and all, and i absolutely love it!!! i couldn't ask for a better horny consultant bc after all it is Our Pornography™. you're also just an extremely understanding, open and lovely person, not to mention very fun and exciting to be friends with hehe. ur headcanons are so fucking interesting (and sometimes sad, how dare u do this to me) and i'm looking forward to hearing more when u eventually get round to writing all those fics you've got ideas for<3

@foolishlovers i'm really really happy we've got to know each other better over the past couple weeks!!!!! your xmas fic is one of my absolute favourite fics ever and i'm in awe with your skill and craft, i hope to write something as well-rounded and enjoyable as that someday<3 also you're one of my favourite posters, so fucking funny and u just make points left right and centre. i hope we can share our writing and our thoughts about life in general more in 2024!!!

@crowleyslvt i'm very happy i barged my way into your dms to be horny on main bc i definitely wouldn't've explored half the things i've explored in my writing if not for our discussions and your encouragement!!! i absolutely love talking writing and sexy headcanons with you, but above that i love that i'm now mates with such a talented, considerate, hilarious kiwi lad. i am honoured to be one of the little guys in ur phone who gets to hype up u as an exceedingly great porn writer but also as a legend in general

@voluptatiscausa no one understands my feralness for michael sheen like you do. i can go batshit insane in the dms over ms and dt with u and that space is important to me dlgkljdgldfjgl. i'm really glad i started reading ur writing this year bc it's very enjoyable, but it's also healing for me as a person who's [whispers] a traumatised and cripplingly shy person in terms of sex lmao. thank you for bestowing it upon ao3, and by extension, upon me!!!! also tho, you're a really nurturing and interesting friend to have, not to mention a Very Cool one so continue to be that pls and thanks

@bowtiepastabitch i've felt very honoured to hear about parts of your life as you share them with me - Knowing The Lore is so important to me and i'm humbled that you've trusted me with some of the stuff that's been happening in your world<3 on another note, your fanart may be quick but it's never shitty, it's always so expressive and fun and gets my brain Thinking Thoughts. i can't express how wonderful it was when you made a wee bit of fanart for one of my fics, and i hope i continue to see ur creativity shine✨

thank you to my favourite blogs for Existing Throughout 2023 (some of whom i know i can call friends, and the rest of whom i'd like to call friends in the future!!!) @sabotage-on-mercury @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @ineffableigh @celestialcrowley @queer-reader-07 @crowleyraejepsens @teddybearbutchh @crowleyholmes @ineffable-rohese @createserenity @quoththemaiden @procrastiel @sentientsky @genderqueer-hippie @beelzzzebub @lineffability @fellshish @greenthena @brainwormcity @opscuritas @tangerine-ginger @iammyownproblematicfave @crikey01 @crawley-fell @vroomvroomwee @bildads-shoes @shoemakerobstetrician @romansmartini @wraithee

i know i'll have forgotten people so i'll add em as i remember em hehehehe

[omoracheese]

if you are comfortable with natlan characters can you do kinich and mualani omo headcanons 🙏

Thank you for the ask! Kinich and Mualani are my favourite Natlan characters, so I do have a few headcanons. Sorry for the long time replying tho, I struggled a bit to write them.

Mualani :

Big bladder, takes a lot of time to empty it

Doesn't leak much. One or two small leaks max, usually pees full force right away and couldn't stop if her life depended on it.

Doesn’t notice her need until it had already gotten pretty bad

Basically goes from feeling nothing to being completely desperate and minutes away from peeing herself

The fact that she’s often in the water, therefore being used to just let go whenever she needs to doesn’t really help when she’s on solid ground with no water near

When she does notice, cannot ignore the urge, and will try to find somewhere to go as soon as she realizes. If there are no bathroom, she would go for the first place where peeing would be acceptable. Sink? Fine. Potted plants? Sure. Outside, in plain view? Excellent. Would pee anywhere, doesn’t care if people are watching

Can and will continue chatting as she pees, sometimes even while maintaining eye contact and facing the person she’s talking to

Potty dance queen, doesn’t feel any shame in squirming for her life with both her hands between her thighs and bouncing on her heels

Very vocal about her need. Lots of whining, complains a lot if she can’t go for any reason

If she wets herself, would genuinely laugh it off and either forget about it or tell it as a funny story later on

Loud sighs of relief when she lets go

She’s probably peed a few times in the hot springs because she was too comfy to leave

When she’s on a tour with tourists, she would easily excuse herself. She’s a professional, so she would try to hold it for a bit, but would quickly give up.

If one of her friends gets desperate with her, she would do her best to help, but oh how much she would tease them afterwards. Not during it, tho, she’s been there before and it is not a pleasant experience.

Would comfort anyone, even someone she absolutely doesn’t know, with but not only telling the times when she wet herself, or the weirdest places she peed in with no shame and no care about all the people around that can hear.

Would talk about the weirdest places she peed in during casual conversation.

Kinich :

I’d think his bladder isn’t that small, but it’s probably not that big. I’d say he’s the one with the smallest bladder between the Natlan trio.

Kinda used to hold it during missions, but also used to notice the need early and go as soon as he can to avoid any ulterior troubles.

Leaks a lot before completely losing control

Since he’s good at evaluating costs, he’d rather avoid wetting himself, because damaging his reputation wouldn’t help with business, but if he really can't avoid it he’d prefer that rather than holding for too long and damaging his health. (Would also avoid wetting himself because Ajaw would be a dick)

Often pees ‘just in case’ before leaving for a mission to avoid being troubled during it

Boy has grown up in the mountains, so he has no trouble going outside. However, he isn’t really comfortable going inside. He’d rather avoid using an indoor bathroom if he can find a spot to pee outside.

When desperate, doesn’t really show it much. More static, probably fiddles with his accessories, shifts his weight from one foot to another, slightly swings one of his legs, tapping his foot… If sitting, would reposition himself often to put less pressure on his bladder.

Not vocal at all. Would probably click his tongue or let out some annoyed sighs.

If he needs to excuse himself, he would, however he wouldn’t explain himself unless he’s being asked directly.

If he needs to go, would not say it out loud unless he’s being asked directly.

If the one asking is Ajaw, would not answer. He probably wouldn’t let him know, because Ajaw is a little fucker and would use that to annoy him to hell. He won’t actively hide it, though, because he knows Ajaw would mock him even more.

When letting go, would let out a long, soft sigh.

When wetting, holds his breath until everything’s out. Would be very conscious about the fact that he's pissing in his pants.

Would not let go (more of less) on purpose unless there is no way he can't access to a bathroom or spot to pee in in time

While not pee-shy, definitely prefers to be alone to do his business. Usually doesn’t pee with people near, unless it’s someone he trusts or is familiar enough with. Peeing is a moment you're vulnerable, and he’s used to living in the wild.

Would pee in a container if he can avoid peeing his pants, doesn’t like it. There is also some limit to the objects he’d use. Wouldn’t pee in someone else’s things, unless they’re insisting a lot that he can use it, and he would repay them, in mora or favor.

If he ends up wetting himself, would definitely get embarrassed, but would try to not to show it too much.

Ajaw wouldn’t help, as he would 100% shout for all of Teyvat to hear, doing his utmost to mock him and humiliate him further. Would end up being on time out, but would think it worth it.

Fortunately for Kinich, Mualani is here to comfort him. Kachina would awkwardly try to comfort him too, and he’d be thankful for that. After some time though Mualani would probably tease him when in private

Mualani would also bother him while he’s peeing. At first, he would be quite embarrassed, but after a while he got used to it, and would even occasionally speak back

Also, his outfit?? The overall?? I’d love to imagine that sometimes he wears the top part too, zipped until the very top, and that he sometimes struggles to get the zipper down and the overall down in time, or that the zipper gets stuck…